Excerpt from Private Journal of Tacitus Gath:

Tacitus Gath: The Glory of Madness

I have seen it now, the way of things. The God-Emperor gives us what we can take and then he gives us more without ceasing until we shatter like a chandelier smiting the ballroom floor. But He-enthroned does not leave us in this state. No, the God-Emperor reconstitutes us from the ashes of our humanity.

He makes us stronger than before. If the vessel is humble, it can be reforged with an increased integrity like twice fired adamantine. The outer shell will chip, crack, and fall away, but that is only the glossy veneer of our species and it is of limited use. The core may still be strong, often far stronger than before.

This is why the God-Emperor tests us as he does. He shows us that there is always more to do if there is a will to do it. And if the will remains righteous then it shall be in service to the God-Emperor and a boon to mankind. And my will is an indomitable flame.

Beginning this most recent journey, I found myself stripped of all that I had striven to aquire to better serve my Inquisitor and the God-Emperor. My vast wealth was brought to naught. As I awoke in a pit, filled with the sticky, cloying stench of bloody mud I thought to myself, “This is the end.” It was difficult to bear but bear it I did for duty, for my Inquisitor, for my faith.

But I needed that gracious lesson of the God-Emperor to teach me that I myself am something far more valuable than the accumulation of my possessions. I now see the light of the God-Emperor before me, blessing my actions and guiding my path. However, I did not see it thusly at that time. Indeed, I would need to be broken down further than simply the loss of wealth. I would need to lose much more.

First we lost Alaric, my friend and fellow Acolyte. He and Siskon were both missing when we awoke in the pit of slaughter. Siskon and Alaric, whom we recovered, though the deepest parts of me wish that we had not, were part of our family. In truth, Alar died then, in the space between meetings and was turned into an abomination which I was forced to end. Siskon I fear suffered the same fate but I will speak more to this later. I wish that were the worst of it. When we escaped the cages of the Beast House we met and aquired an individua. I named Dezner, a tall, seemingly capable albeit seedy fellow.

I hoped he would prove my suspicions incorrect and aid us in our mission once we made it out of our prison. We did escape, but only just. Like rats we scurried into the vast tunnel system that held us. We slowly made our way into a storage area housing an uncountable amount of objects. There we met our first glimpse of our opposition, the man in the Jackal Mask, Marcus Vulpa. I scouted the Jackal leaving a medicae tent and upon further investigation I discovered that it had been repurposed as a house of pain and torment.

There was a man within. He had been tortured, the skin flayed from his bones with only an iron will sustaining him. He informed me that he was an Inquisitor. A member of the Holy Ordos, here and now of all places? I found him. It was a sign from the God-Emperor, a fortelling of the type of man I was to become.

I gave him his rights and the respect due his station and we parted. I took Inquisitor’s Rosette in order that it be returned to the conclave on Scintilla and as proof so that Karkalla’s name could be recorded in the books of the dead as is his proper place of rest. We tracked down a lead from the late Inquisitor Karkalla in the great libraries of Xicarph, the domed city of Quaddis. There was an individual known as the White Scholar whom Karkalla said could help us.

The Scholar was actually working on behalf of the Inquisition, attempting to discover the truth behind the kidnappings and the strange occurances taking place here on Quaddis. We were attacked shortly after contact though our enemies were quickly dispatched. Investigation led us to uncover that this particular enemy were the Pilgrims of Hayte, the Apocolyptic cult. Their reputation of being as brutal as they are corrupt is not overstated. Seeing the need for leadership I tried to bring wisdom and guidance to the remaining Acolytes, God-Emperor knows I tried.

But either from lack of enforcement or perhaps the wanton desires of the flesh my leadership was shunned and cost us all dearly. Servius and Dezner saw to overrule me while I was in a weakened state in an effort to acquire materials that could have aided us. My objection was not to the materials, as they were sorely needed, but rather at the timing. Tertius and the Scholar were researching elsewhere.

We had barely survived an encounter with a rogue psyker and implant-loaded behemoth mere moments before. I suggested we tend to my wounds, regroup, and come back at a later time as I had taken down the psyker but barely escaped from the giant. That was the last lucid thought before insanity took hold. Servius was set aflame and I thought he was surely gone, though the God-Emperor in his grace spared him. Dezner was embroiled in a gunfight with guards in the armory he and Servius were trying to raid.

I was barely conscious but knew something must be done imminently. We had a mission of utmost importance to accomplish. So in the best interest of the mission I intended to leave Dezner, thinking Servius already expired and not having faith in my own state of health. As I was leaving a cold wind entered the building and the screams of death and dying men filled my ears. As I investigated, I found a horde of lithe, fanged creatures capturing a woman and leaving with her. Greatly outnumbered, I let them go. It helped that they were not concerned with detaining or harming me.

Yet, it was in that moment, seeing how unpredictable and unstable life in this age can be, that I had compassion for Dezner. He hadn’t experienced what I had, seen those things that all Acolytes wish they could un-see. Under my belt is the rigor and strict adhesion to social order that I have developed by posessing a noble birthright and training in the Ecclesiarchy. In my compassion I re-entered the fray and killed the last guard but in so doing managed to damage a crate of ammunition or explosives because the next thing I knew were were all being blown through the air in a gout of flaming debris. I thought we were about to join Inquisitor Karkalla and Servius in the books of the dead, if our names would even be recorded.

As I awoke, I blamed Servius. He had shown poor judgment in the heat of battle before but he should know better. I blame it on suffering too much trauma too quickly, perhaps his mind just could not cope. I wish I could have blamed Dezner, but compassion again overruled my desire for harsh chastening.

Barely alive, Tertius tended our wounds and we pieced ourselves together. If my wealth were the first breaking, my physical health was the second, a harsher lesson. We came to an agreement that for now I would have final say of the decisions. It was apparent that after the last debacle that left over half of our retinue on death’s door we needed leadership. While capable and the natural choice for the Prime Acolyte, I greatly embraced this opportunity for another reason. I hoped to earn my fellow Acolytes respect as they would follow hopefully find in me wise counsel and clear orders.

We also at this time aquired another addition to our entourage. Lady Melua, a noble woman seeking to find her lost brother. The God-Emperor in his grace also saw fit to heal much of my broken body, not unlike Saint Drusus though I do not claim such piety and am certianly not worthy of worship and reverence as one so great. We researched much and more and from our contacts, brokering, and rooting about we gained admission to the mansion of Gabriel Chase where we were sure the crux of our mission resided. I placed Servius and the White Scholar, his true name being Septimus Dexter, in charge of protecting the Lady.

Tertius and I sought to unravel the cause of the disturbance which centered around an ancient arcane clock that I was convinced was tantamount to this worlds survival. It was at the literal center of the manse and Quaddis itself. This is where our world began to truly unravel.

Lady Melua was snatched right from under the noses of Septimus and Servius. That was their fault. In a scramble to ascertain what happened, Tertius and I quickly examined the area but found nothing. We surmised that there must have been some form of passageway concealed from our eyes but locating it was a lost cause.

Dezner later came and was to aid Servius in looking more closely. Tertius and Septimus were to go to the library to search for any volumes that may aid us in finding the lady. However, there was a disturbance, 2 parties were in a vocal display of threat and dominance. And it was Tertius, yes, loyal Tertius that abandoned my orders and sought after his own lead.

Septimus, following suit went with Tertius. It was probably a beneficial move, but they did not even notify me of their actions. They acted as they always had, independent without a thought for the structure we had just agreed on.

Dezner and Servius did indeed find what we had missed, discovering a secret passageway in the walls. I advised them to not enter, rather waiting until we had more information, similarly to our experience the day before at the armory. I went to the library within the vast mansion and discovered a volume that spoke about the walls within the manse shifting like cogs and levers within a clock.

Little did I know, Servius and Dezner had already disobeyed me once more and entered the walls. Within the secret passage the 2 acolytes sprung a trap. Servius was burned and nearly died once again. So by this point Servius and Dezner had disobeyed me twice, Tertius and Septimus once, and Siskon and Alaric was as good as dead in my mind. Hope was fading.

Then little could we have guessed, there was Alar. One minute were were walking up the stairs investigating the manse and the next there was my friend the psyker. But something was amiss. There was a blank look in his eyes and he stank of blood both old and fresh. The worst part was that his heart was missing and he lived only through the trickery of the warp.

I ended his tortured fate myself. As I took what was left of his so-called life my soul hardened, and so did my body. The scars of my soul transferred to my skin. In my dreams I’m a young noble of good repute, with a distinguished career. Life is easy for me. When I wake I find myself before a mirror I am staring into a foreign face, covered with scars, my edifice now a mask of a hundred recently healed lacerations.

This change in conjunction with my fellow Acolytes actions was the third breaking and by far the most painful. It showed me that posessions are but dust and health a drifting shadow. It showed me that faith in my friends was misplaced and the hope of reclaiming that which is lost were ashes in my mouth. But even this is good and right the eyes of the God-Emperor.

It showed me that of my exultations and affections there is only Him-On-Holy-Terra worthy of their focus. It serves as a testiment to my resolute will, and my unflinching dedication to His Ordos. After this transformation, the events and expectations of what was to come quickly proved true and unfolded amidst the thunderous toning of clocks. Tertius desired an audience with the Heron, a man Karkalla told us could not be trusted. He was foolish. This was the God-Emperor’s confirmation the catalyst that caused these seeds of truth to germinate.

We found Lady Melua’s hand, violently torn off at the wrist and the enemies we had searched for revealed themselves to us. We found ourselves in a malevolent eclipse with the warp bleeding into reality due to the Heron’s work. There was more than one strange occurance during this time, cold winds, unbridled anger, and an unseen force that captured the Heron. By my guidance, Dezner and Teritus managed to destroy the blasphemous technology and stop the death of this planet.

I myself ensured the death of the man in the Heron mask. Seeing to it that he would not threaten another world with his lies and deceit and lessening the Pilgryms influence in the Calixis Sector. Amidst the chaos, many perished, Acolyte Septimus Dexter included. In a way it is fitting that both he and his Inquisitor died on Quaddis. Karkalla put us onto this mission and the Scholar saw it finished.

In the end we stand as the saviors of thousands if not millions. We destroyed more than one abomination in the Emperor’s name and we put to rest the souls of some of our own. But at a great cost to me. Not only did I lose my friend Alaric, but Siskon as well, I look no more to the hope of his survival. Moreover, I lost something precious, my naivety. I lost the covering over my eyes and ears.

Now seeing and hearing more clearly than ever before I know only a few things with certainty:

1. My fellow Acolytes do not respect me or my orders and can no longer be trusted, I must look out for myself and trust in the God-Emperor alone for guidance.
2. I have obtained the keystone, which is rumored to unlock unfathomable secrets, which means this terrible book is not finished but only moving to a new chapter.
3. Though the world may now see me disfigured, and though I have lost all trust in other people, the God-Emperor still guides both my unyielding gaze and unrelenting fury. The Verse be warned! Whether, denizen of the Warp, well meaning but misguided citizen, or obstinate Acolyte, the time for forgiveness has passed. Only in death does duty end.